I had a conversation the other day with someone (who if they read this will know who they are I suspect) who is different to me.
But we have a respect for each other, a respect for the different facets of our personalities that bring different assets to the party. We are both effective in different ways. But sometimes I hear negativity about the positivity. There are cynics aplenty in life. I know, I used to be one.
As these things do it linked in with a few thoughts I’ve had a for a while. But a thorny subject so I shall tread with care…
The thought was highlighted via twitter after a female US physician of colour got taken aback by a white colleague complaining that there’s a lot of commentary about Black Lives Matter and MeToo. This white physician implied it was all a bit much and that they were over it.
As is to be expected when a group of people who have had it their way for an awfully long time, it’s not unusual to hear this sort of commentary.
So what is it I’m thinking? Well a few years ago when I was deep in my medical simulation work I got to know a fast jet pilot. I arranged for them to come and talk to the combined surgical and anaesthetic departments. The military had realised 20 plus years ago that not allowing people to speak up was causing accidents, expense and loss of life. So a wholesale reorganisation of the system was started. The most junior pilot could tell the most senior pilot that something was wrong, so that they might avoid a disaster. A similar thing is oft touted in the civilian airline industry. The key point is this process was started 20 years ago.
Halfway through them speaking an individual upped sticks and left the auditorium. I enquired later as to why? They replied that the talk was wholly unrealistic. “In the military the whole team is geared up to support the pilot, in the health service none of the team are geared up to support the surgeon.”
Well that’s a pretty unhealthy view of the world. Let alone being surgeon-centric, the fact that that individual felt that nothing was done to help them do their work is a bit of statement on the system they were working in. It leads to an US and THEM mentality, when it should be a WE mentality.
We all have witnessed objectionable behaviour and incivility and all the surveys report that it still occurs.
I float around in a bubble of like minded people who think that being civil is a normal state of being. That giving others the benefit of the doubt when their behaviour is off is the first assumption. Similarly most of the people I follow on twitter have the same outlook so it leads to the twitter “echo chamber”. It assumes that because I think like this then everybody must think like this…
So this is the thorny bit. Just because we would all like to live in a utopia where nobody acts like a dick (or worse) doesn’t mean it is actually so.
The commonest examples of this, which can be seen daily in our media and on social media relate to race and to misogyny.
So don’t shoot me when I say that if you are female and you wear something that could be perceived as provocative, it is still the same as swimming with sharks with a steak tied around your midriff. We haven’t got there yet. It’s sad but it’s true. Absolutely anybody should be able to wear what they want, when they want without fear of repercussion or comment. But we’re not there yet.
Boys are being taught to change their thinking about life but recent press and surveys from Australian schools show that unwanted attention from males is still rife. We’re not there yet.
It’s a generational change. The time taken for societal change is in the order of 20-30 years, the example is of same sex marriage taking that long to come to fruition. I think thousands of years of patriarchy might take a little longer.
This is explained by Tim Urban far better in this series: https://waitbutwhy.com/2019/08/story-of-us.html
It’s a long read but really worth the time.
So what’s the point of these thoughts. The point is that I will teach my daughter that things are changing but she might still have to be cautious whilst standing up to take her rightful place in the world. I will teach my son that generations of women have had to put up with idiot men and his job in life is to be better. To not stand by, to consider his actions through a different lens…
So full circle – the individuals who think the “PC brigade” are ruining the world, they seem to be older to me, are right, the world is changing. For the better. Those individuals and there are plenty of them,will take a generation or two to die off, don’t expect that utopia for a little while, expect to hear and see commentary that hasn’t caught up yet.
But keep on modelling and teaching the good behaviour it’s the only way to move the process faster…